Life happens, when we’re not prepared. A woman is recovering at home from minor surgery when her older sister dies unexpectedly, thousands of miles away. She can’t fly from her home to her sister’s home for weeks. What will happen, asks Considerable in the article “This is the most helpful thing you can do for the people who love you” ? If you’re not prepared, the result is a mess for those you love.
Anyone who has any assets they want distributed should have an estate plan, regardless of the size of their estate. Having a will and an estate plan created by an experienced attorney is the easiest place to start, says the Observer-Reporter in the article “Set up an estate plan so your assets go where you want.” Without a will, the state will decide what happens to your assets, and it may not be what you wanted.
Losing the independence that comes with being able to drive, is often followed by the realization that parents can no longer be entrusted with their own finances. This is a difficult issue, because the parents of Baby Boomer kids are the “Greatest Generation.” As a general rule, they were and are extremely private about finances. The steps to take are outlined in this article, “Here’s how to know when it’s time to take control of your parent’s finances,” from Considerable.
The tricky part is figuring out the timing. If it is done too early, you’ll be battling with your parents. Conversely, if it is done too late, major financial damage may be done.
Keep your eyes open for signs that your parents are not able to maintain their responsibilities. That includes changes in their behavior, misplacing things and not being able to locate them, or making too many trips to the bank for reasons that they can’t or won’t explain. Another clue: purchasing things they never bought before. You may notice paperwork piling up on a desk that used to be tidy and organized.
One woman didn’t realize that her mother was being scammed, until she had sent more than $100,000 to scammers. Elderly financial abuse is pervasive, and the Senate Special Committee on Aging estimates that elderly Americans lose some $3 billion annually to financial scammers.
One elderly woman suffering from dementia, forgot to pay her long-term care insurance premiums and lost the coverage. The company had sent five notices, but she was not able to manage her finances.
Even those who have close relationships with their parents and their daily events can have slip ups. Often, the children don’t step in, until the parent has a health crisis, and then it becomes clear that things have not been right for a while. If one parent is overwhelmed by taking care of their spouse, an otherwise organized person may become prone to making mistakes.
The earlier children can become involved, the better. Children should ideally become involved with their parents, while they are still healthy and able to communicate the necessary information about their financial lives. If the family waits until illness strikes or dementia becomes apparent, there may be significant and irreversible damage done to the parent’s finances, like the woman who lost her long-term health care coverage. There are some instances where the court need to become involved, if the parents are not able or willing to let the children help.
An elder law attorney will be able to help the family as they transition the parents away from being in charge of their own finances. It’s not always an easy process but becomes necessary.
Reference: Considerable (April 18, 2019) “Here’s how to know when it’s time to take control of your parent’s finances”
Yes, death is the ultimate grim topic. However, it is an important one to discuss with your loved ones and your estate planning attorney. If you don’t have an estate plan in place, and one that is done correctly, you may doom your family to spending years and more money than you’d want on court proceedings and legal fees to settle your estate. You can prevent all this, by creating an estate plan with a qualified estate planning attorney. It is really that simple, says The San Diego Union-Tribune in the article “6 estate-planning mistakes to avoid.”
When a family member dies, personal items and heirlooms can be the cause of significant conflict among family members, The Guardian says in its recent article, “When It Comes To Heirlooms, It’s Personal.” Many of these hotly-disputed items may have little to no monetary value. However, that doesn’t make them any less important to those family members who treasure their “priceless” emotional value.
A person can typically leave his estate to whomever he wants, provided that it satisfies the obligations to a spouse and dependents. There are several ways to ensure that an estate is equitably distributed, according to the wishes of the deceased. However, making decisions on personal effects and family heirlooms is often one of the hardest parts of the estate planning process.
Here’s what can you do to make sure the cherished personal property you wish to leave to your heirs doesn’t become the focal point for future disputes:
- Avoid any surprises. Avoid potential conflicts by sharing with your family the contents of your will and your reasons for the way that you’ve decided to distribute your assets, so there are no surprises after you are gone.
- Know what “fairness” means. Fairness doesn’t always mean “equal.” That is especially true when it comes to your personal items and heirlooms. Decide what “fairness” means to each of your family members, and if you agree, distribute your items accordingly.
- Talk about your special assets. Create a list of the items you want to bequeath and ask your family who should get what.
- Get appraisals and consultations. Have your personal property appraised and consult with your heirs to be certain that the items you bequeath are appropriately valued–both monetarily and emotionally.
- Create a list. Attach to your will a letter that lists your personal property items and the heirs you want to receive them. The letter won’t be enforceable as part of your will, unless you incorporate it into the terms of the will.
- Make choice now. While you’re still alive, list your personal items and have your heirs take turns choosing what they want.
- Choose later. If you don’t want your heirs to select your personal items in advance but still prefer they are the ones who chose, leave a direction in your will that your heirs are to take turns, until all of the items have been chosen.
Reference: The Guardian (December 23, 2018) “When It Comes To Heirlooms, It’s Personal”